


Good Enough

by rafaelswaithe



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Anxiety, F/M, Panic Attacks, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, plus sized reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 18:01:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19381894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rafaelswaithe/pseuds/rafaelswaithe
Summary: You've been dating Sweet Pea for a while now, and though you know he enjoys being with you, sometimes your anxiety is just too much.





	Good Enough

A smile played on your lips as you listened to the story that Sweet Pea told, sitting across from him in your booth at Pop’s. He was talking about something that had happened with him and Fangs earlier that day, speaking in an animated motion as he retold it all.

You giggled softly, shaking your head at him. Despite his hard exterior and bad boy reputation, once you had got to know him, he never failed to make you laughed, and you were so thankful to whatever higher power it was that had brought him to you.

You loved Sweet Pea more than anyone else in the world. In a short amount of time, he’d become your _person_. Half of your whole. If there was anyone who could talk you down and bring you back from the edge when you were having a hard time, it was him. You were totally and completely in awe of him and just how good he always managed to make you feel.

As he finished his story, he smiled wide, his fingers playing with yours over the table as you waited for your food. Seemingly on cue, your server came and dropped off your milkshakes and fries moments later. You removed the paper from one end of your straw, bringing it to your lips and blowing into it. With the puff of air, the paper flew off of the straw and across the table, hitting Sweet Pea between the eyes, causing you to giggle.

He narrowed his eyes playfully at you, unwrapping his own straw. Rolling the paper between his fingers, he playfully flicked it at you. “You’re lucky you’re cute,” he teased you, giving you a little smirk.

You giggled again, shaking your head. Sticking your straw into your milkshake, you took a long sip from it before grabbing a few fries. You dipped one into your milkshake, eyes scanning the diner as you heard some laughter and commotion coming from the opposite corner.

Your eyes locked onto the source of all of the noise after a moment — Reggie Mantle and Chuck Clayton. You took the fry that you’d previously dipped into your milkshake into your mouth as they laughed at something over at their table.

_They’re laughing at you._

It didn’t make any sense, sure. It was way more likely that the guys were laughing at something amongst themselves. Who’s to say that they had even noticed you were there? Still, you felt a slight sinking feeling in your stomach as you continued to look in their direction, Chuck’s eyes eventually moving across the diner and catching yours, a smirk spreading over his features as he caught you staring.

It wouldn’t have been the first time that you had been laughed at for the way you looked. Even in the current times with so many advocates for body positivity, it was still hard at times to see yourself as anything except the horrible names that you’d been called.

“Y/N,” you heard Sweet Pea calling, hand waving as he tried to catch your attention, finally bringing you out of your thoughts.

“Sorry,” you mumbled. “I zoned out a little.”

“I’d say so,” he said, letting out a little laugh. “Did you hear anything that I just said?”

Shaking your head, you gave him an apologetic smile, waiting for him to repeat himself.

“I was saying that me, Fangs and Toni were thinking about going to Sweetwater River to swim this weekend. Did you want to come with?” he asked, tilting his head curiously.

You bit down on your lip in the center, thinking it over. It wouldn’t be the first time that Sweet Pea had seen you in that little amount of clothing — he’d actually seen you in nothing at all. Still, you’d be somewhat publicly wearing a swimsuit, and that made you nervous.

“Can I think about it and let you know?” you asked him, shifting a bit nervously.

Sweet Pea squeezed your hand, giving you a little smile, “Of course, princess. Just let me know by that day and we can ride together.”

“Okay,” you nodded, returning his small smile.

You hated the way that you’d allowed Chuck and his group of friends laughing to make you feel self-conscious. You knew deep down that their laughter had nothing to do with you, but you hadn’t quite managed to convinced the little voices inside your head of the same thing.

You went back to eating your fries, dipping another into your milkshake every now and then, enjoying the mix of sweet and salty flavors. At one point, Sweet Pea even took a fry of his own and dipped it into your shake, causing you to smile over at him.

As time went on, you continued to hear Chuck and Reggie’s group laughing loudly. You turned your eyes down toward the table, trying to block it all out. Still, the harder that you tried to block the laughter out, the louder it seemed to ring in your ears.

Your heart beat sped up, breathing becoming a bit more labored as you fought to keep yourself from panicking, pushing your basket of fries away from you.

“Babe? You okay?” Sweet Pea asked, seeing the expression on your features and the way you’d pushed your unfinished food away. “Are you feeling sick?”

Concern was evident on his face, and instead of responding, you just nodded, letting out a little whimper as embarrassment coursed through you. You ducked your head down a bit, resting your elbows on the table and covering your face with your hands.

“Okay, hold on for me just a minute. I’ll get the check and we can go,” he spoke, pushing up from the booth and moving toward the counter.

Once Sweet Pea stood and moved toward the counter, there wasn’t anything to distract you from the laughter that seemed to continuously pour from Chuck and Reggie, your breathing becoming more labored and more erratic.

_They’re laughing at you. They think you’re a slob, and now you’re freaking out about it. You’re such a headcase._

The thoughts swirled maliciously around your head, and you tore yourself from the booth, darting outside. Once you were out of the diner, your back pressed against the brick wall, leaning down to put your hands against your knees as you tried to catch your breath. Soon, you had started pacing.

_Sweet Pea’s still in the diner. He knows what they think. He agrees. You don’t deserve him._

You whimpered as you fought to catch your breath, pushing your hair back from your face as tears stained your cheeks.

It was at that time that Sweet Pea walked out of the diner, grabbing you by the arms to still you. “Y/N? Talk to me… baby, breathe,” he instructed, trying to talk you down.

You started to try and do as he said, hands resting on his sides as he gripped your arms. Your fingers gripped his jacket, clinging to him tightly.

Pulling you into his arms, Sweet Pea’s confusion was that much more evident as you let out a single sob, fingers gripping his jacket for dear life. “Hey… _hey_ , Y/N, it’s okay. I’ve got you… I’ve got you.”

Your eyes closed, forehead resting against his shoulder. As he held onto you, you slowly began to come down from your panic, though you continued to hold onto him, not ready to let him go just yet.

Sweet Pea’s hand stroked over your hair as he continued to whisper reassurances against your ear, and letting out a shaky breath, you finally found it within yourself to pull away, looking up at him.

His thumbs moved to gently wipe the tears from your eyes, and you could see just how confused and worried that he was for you. “Are you okay?” he asked, head tilting a bit.

Your hands rested against his chest, keeping him close, but still at a safe distance as you looked up at him. “Why do you like me?” you questioned him.

His brow furrowed and he looked at you curiously, “What?”

“Why do you like me?” you repeated.

Sweet Pea frowned softly, unsure of what your motive here was. Minutes ago, things were going great, but now it seemed the atmosphere had shifted. “I don’t know… everything? You’re smart, and funny. You get along with my friends, and you don’t judge us for who we are or the life that we lead.”

You nodded slowly. All of that was nice, but none of that included anything about your looks. You could feel your heart sink a bit as you bit down on the inside of your cheek. “Anything else?” you pressed.

His eyes narrowed with confusion, “Y/N, what is this about?” he asked.

“I just want to know. Why date the fat and ugly unpopular girl when you can get basically any girl you want? You could do so much better,” you shrugged.

“Babe…” he started shaking his head. “First of all, you’re not fat. Are you skinny? No, but that doesn’t mean you’re _fat_. Thick, full-figured, curvy, yeah. But, I would never think of you as fat.”

“Also, don’t you for one minute let yourself think that you’re ugly. You are the most beautiful girl that I know, whether you believe it or not. The other girls that you’re talking about? They’re not for me. They don’t even come close to you,” he spoke.

You shook your head, wiping at your eyes, “Pea, you could have so much better.”

Sweet Pea shook his head stubbornly, “Are you not listening to me? I choose _you_. I want _you_. I **love** _you_.”

The words had slipped out before he had realized he said them, so as you stood in front of him, looking at him incredulously, he was a bit confused. It wasn’t until a moment later that he realized what he’d said. “Oh shit,” he murmured, though there was a hint of a smile on his lips and he let out a small laugh.

“That’s the first time you’ve ever told me that,” you spoke, voice soft as you looked up at him.

Sweet Pea nodded, biting down on his lip, “Yeah… I didn’t mean for it to come out that way. I — I wanted for it to be a little more special,” he shrugged.

You shook your head, stepping closer to him again. Standing on tip-toe, you wrapped your arms around his neck again, pulling him down into a kiss.

Sweet Pea returned the kiss with ease, his arms wrapping securely around you, holding you tightly. It was like you were cage in against him with nowhere to go, and somehow it made you feel that much more safe and secure than ever before.

Pulling your lips from his after a few moments, you breathed out and rested your forehead against his, hoping that this was all real. The last thing that you wanted was for this to all be a dream. Blinking a few times, you looked up at him, giving him a soft smile.

“I love you too,” you told him. “Thank you… for being so amazing to me.”

Sweet Pea smiled as you said that you loved him too, shaking his head as you thanked him. “You don’t have to thank me for that. It’s what you deserve. And if anyone ever gives you any shit, just let me know. No one fucks with my girl,” he told you, pulling you in for another kiss.


End file.
